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    Introduction
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    • Life Is Complex
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    • Why I Am Sharing These Tools
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    Productivity
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    • 1.1 What If I Had to Decide Now?
    • 1.2 Delay Decisions Until the Optimal ..
    • 1.3 Disconnect
    • 1.4 The Pomodoro Technique
    • 1.5 Mind Mapping
    • 1.6 Agenda Documents
    • 1.7 🏛️ Getting Things Done
    • 1.8 Brainstorming
    • 1.9 Log Your Life
    • 1.10 Default to Openness
    • 1.11 Celebrate Success
    • 1.12 Pause and Ask Why
    • 1.13 Accountability Partners
    • 1.14 If You See a Job, It’s Yours
    • 1.15 Declutter Your Space
    • 1.16 Allow Yourself to Rest
    • 1.17 Atomic Habits
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    Relationships
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    • 2.1 🏛️ Nonviolent Communication
    • 2.2 Prefer Requests over Demands
    • 2.3 Use a Talking Stick
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    • 2.5 Mega Threads
    • 2.6 Active Listening
    • 2.7 Radical Honesty
    • 2.8 When Triggered, Pause
    • 2.9 Forgiveness
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    • 2.12 Wheel of Consent
    • 2.13 Make and Formalize Agreements
    • 2.14 Personal Operating Manual
    • 2.15 Acknowledge When You’re Triggered
    • 2.16 Talk About What’s Happening Now
    • 2.17 Ethical Nonmonogamy
    • 2.18 Express Your Emotions Numerically
    • 2.19 Empathy
    • 2.20 The Way of the Superior Man
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    Therapy
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    • 3.1 Go to Therapy
    • 3.2 Lead a Purposeful Life
    • 3.3 Gratitude
    • 3.4 Talk to Your Inner Selves
    • 3.5 Feel Your Emotions
    • 3.6 Talk about Therapy inTherapy
    • 3.7 Make the Most of Therapy
    • 3.8 Relationship Therapy
    • 3.9 Coaching
    • 3.10 🏛️ Twelve Rules for Life
    • 3.11 Explore Your Different Identities
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    • 4.1 High-Intensity Interval Training (..
    • 4.2 Find Physical Activities You Enjoy
    • 4.3 Hack Your Workout Routine
    • 4.4 Breathe Before Eating
    • 4.5 If You Diet, Do It Sustainably
    • 4.6 Remove Temptations
    • 4.7 Nutritional Supplements
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    • 6.3 Go On a Retreat
    • 6.4 Kōans and Mu
    • 6.5 Find Your Moral Compass
    • 6.6 Anattā(Non-Self)
    • 6.7 Enlightenment Is Always Now
    • 6.8 Beware of Spiritual Ego
    • 6.9 Watch Out for Cults/False Gurus
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Print: 2.18 Express Your Emotions Numerically
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2.18 Express Your Emotions Numerically Podcast Icon

Calibrate and communicate the intensity of your emotions.

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Motivation
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Expressing your emotions on a numeric scale—for example, from one to ten—can help you communicate your emotional state more accurately and give others useful information about how to interact with you. When others use this tool, you will understand them better and be able to assess an appropriate response.

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Benefits
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  • Placing your emotions on a numerical scale can help you better understand yourself and your reactions.
  • Communicating this scale to others can foster mutual understanding and create signposts in otherwise vague territory.
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Challenges
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  • Not everyone interprets intensity the same way, so there may still be differences.
  • Some people find describing their emotions in numbers uncomfortable.
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Application
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When you feel an intense emotion that you want to communicate with someone else, name the emotion and assign it a number from one to ten. For example, when you receive a gift that you really love, you may feel joy at an intensity of nine out of ten. When someone cuts you off on the road, you may feel frustration at an intensity of seven out of ten.

This is an intuitive judgment rather than a scientific process, so don’t worry too much about making sure that every emotion you feel fits consistently onto the same scale. Go with your gut and understand that the first number that pops into your head will be the right number. If you prefer a different scale, such as zero to ten or one to five, feel free to use that instead.

The number you share will give whoever you’re talking to valuable information about how to communicate with you. If they ask you how angry you are, and you scream “Ten!” they will know that you’re triggered and might need to calm down before you can engage in a rational debate. On the other hand, if you say “Two,” they will know you are only mildly affected and capable of considering other points of view. This behavior should of course be calibrated to your particular temperament. The scale is relative, and some people might consider a two to be unusually angry, whereas others would experience it as completely normal.

If you and your partner regularly use this scale, you will both become more accustomed to interpreting each other’s moods and learn to respond appropriately. Hopefully, this will result in fewer high-intensity experiences of anger and frustration and more of pleasure and joy.


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Chapters and Tools
Add new tool
Home
liat_admin
01/01/1970
00:00
Paragraph: INSERT TITLE
  • chapter icon
    Introduction
    expand chapter
    • Life Is Complex
    • Grab Your Tools
    • Productivity
    • Relationships
    • Therapy
    • Body
    • Mind
    • Spirit
    • Why I Am Sharing These Tools
    • How to Use This Book
  • chapter icon
    Meta
  • chapter icon
    Productivity
    expand chapter
    • 1.1 What If I Had to Decide Now?
    • 1.2 Delay Decisions Until the Optimal ..
    • 1.3 Disconnect
    • 1.4 The Pomodoro Technique
    • 1.5 Mind Mapping
    • 1.6 Agenda Documents
    • 1.7 🏛️ Getting Things Done
    • 1.8 Brainstorming
    • 1.9 Log Your Life
    • 1.10 Default to Openness
    • 1.11 Celebrate Success
    • 1.12 Pause and Ask Why
    • 1.13 Accountability Partners
    • 1.14 If You See a Job, It’s Yours
    • 1.15 Declutter Your Space
    • 1.16 Allow Yourself to Rest
    • 1.17 Atomic Habits
  • chapter icon
    Relationships
    expand chapter
    • 2.1 🏛️ Nonviolent Communication
    • 2.2 Prefer Requests over Demands
    • 2.3 Use a Talking Stick
    • 2.4 Post Mortem after Arguments
    • 2.5 Mega Threads
    • 2.6 Active Listening
    • 2.7 Radical Honesty
    • 2.8 When Triggered, Pause
    • 2.9 Forgiveness
    • 2.10 Silence
    • 2.11 Respect Others’ Autonomy When Off..
    • 2.12 Wheel of Consent
    • 2.13 Make and Formalize Agreements
    • 2.14 Personal Operating Manual
    • 2.15 Acknowledge When You’re Triggered
    • 2.16 Talk About What’s Happening Now
    • 2.17 Ethical Nonmonogamy
    • 2.18 Express Your Emotions Numerically
    • 2.19 Empathy
    • 2.20 The Way of the Superior Man
  • chapter icon
    Therapy
    expand chapter
    • 3.1 Go to Therapy
    • 3.2 Lead a Purposeful Life
    • 3.3 Gratitude
    • 3.4 Talk to Your Inner Selves
    • 3.5 Feel Your Emotions
    • 3.6 Talk about Therapy inTherapy
    • 3.7 Make the Most of Therapy
    • 3.8 Relationship Therapy
    • 3.9 Coaching
    • 3.10 🏛️ Twelve Rules for Life
    • 3.11 Explore Your Different Identities
  • chapter icon
    Body
    expand chapter
    • 4.1 High-Intensity Interval Training (..
    • 4.2 Find Physical Activities You Enjoy
    • 4.3 Hack Your Workout Routine
    • 4.4 Breathe Before Eating
    • 4.5 If You Diet, Do It Sustainably
    • 4.6 Remove Temptations
    • 4.7 Nutritional Supplements
    • 4.8 Monitor Your Body
    • 4.9 Agree to Be Hungry
    • 4.10 Stretching
    • 4.11 Exercise Multiple Times a Week
    • 4.12 Intermittent Fasting
  • chapter icon
    Mind
    expand chapter
    • 5.1 Write Book Reviews
    • 5.2 Own Your Echo Chamber
    • 5.3 Be Curious
    • 5.4 Asking “Why”
    • 5.5 Morning Pages
    • 5.6 Physical Memory Tricks
    • 5.7 Follow Up after Meeting New People
    • 5.8 Silent Date
    • 5.9 Find Your Purpose
    • 5.10 Sleep Hygiene
    • 5.11 Face Your Fear
    • 5.12 Short-Circuit Habits
    • 5.13 Allow Yourself to Be Bored
  • chapter icon
    Spirit
    expand chapter
    • 6.1 🏛️ Meditation
    • 6.2 Everyday Mindfulness
    • 6.3 Go On a Retreat
    • 6.4 Kōans and Mu
    • 6.5 Find Your Moral Compass
    • 6.6 Anattā(Non-Self)
    • 6.7 Enlightenment Is Always Now
    • 6.8 Beware of Spiritual Ego
    • 6.9 Watch Out for Cults/False Gurus
    • 6.10 Conversations with God
  • chapter icon
    other
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