Whatever Works

A toolkit for self optimization

3.1 Go to Therapy

Try therapy to help you work through your psychological and emotional issues.

Motivation

If your relationships are difficult or you struggle to find peace in your life, you may want to consider going to a therapist. Many people find therapy to be a helpful tool for managing their stress. Additionally, people who have a mental illness such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder often find that therapy is an important adjunct to their medication.

A professional therapist can help you work through your past experiences and the issues and trauma that arose from them. They can help you process your emotions, and many therapists also offer valuable tools and exercises, which can teach you new ways to behave in situations that trouble you.

Starting therapy can be a difficult decision, but many people discover that, after a few sessions with the right therapist, they love it. A good therapist often becomes a trusted ally—someone who is always in your corner, rooting for you. Your sessions, in turn, become safe, judgment-free zones where you can discuss whatever you need to.

Benefits

Learning about your blind spots and growing from those insights.
Healing emotionally and mentally from past trauma.
Finding healthier behaviors and responses to situations.

Challenges

It can be difficult to open up and start talking to a stranger.
Many people are embarrassed to admit that they need help.
It may take a long time to feel the benefits of therapy.

Application

Finding a good therapist can be challenging. You can try asking around for recommendations or browsing your local directory. Doing some research, like exploring potential therapists’ websites, can give you a good feel for them and the methodologies and tools they employ. There is no substitute for an introductory meeting, where you’ll get a sense of the kind of connection you might develop. You may want to ask potential therapists about their approach before meeting them. You can research it, get an idea of how it works, and evaluate whether it is suitable for you.

You will not always find your perfect therapist on the first try, so you may need to meet with a few before you find one with whom you feel safe and comfortable. Your therapy sessions may cause you to feel vulnerable, so you must feel a high level of connection with your therapist.

Sometimes, you might have doubts about whether your relationship with a therapist is working out for you. It’s usually beneficial to bring these doubts up in therapy and discuss them with your therapist. Over time, if you feel your current therapist isn’t the right one for you, you might want to choose a new one. There are many different schools of therapy. Some people prefer cognitive therapists, who focus on specific behavioral changes, while others prefer dynamic talk therapy, which uses the dynamics of the patient-therapist connection to investigate issues in the patient’s life. Other therapies include psychoanalysis, bodywork, or breathwork. It is important not to settle for a therapist. Make sure you get the right one for you.

There are several different contexts in which you can see a therapist:

Single: One-on-one sessions between you and your therapist.
Couple: Sessions where you and your significant other attend therapy together (see Tool 3.10).
Family: When all immediate family members join in on therapy sessions (see Tool 3.10).
Group: When people affected by a common issue, such as grief or post-traumatic stress, come together and work communally with a therapist to help each other.